Tonight I did my best to confirm no vacuum leak. Sprayed starting fluid everywhere...no indication of any leak.

Did the battery off reset of IAC.

I confirmed it appears my vehicle doesn't have a solonoid valve on the EVAP canister, so that acts lke a constant vacuum leak....but I confirmed with a short plugged off vacuum line that it had no effect anyways on the idle.

I don't know what to check next, so unless the group has an idea it's going to have to go to my mechanic..what a bummer! I hope he can use a scan tool to confrm the IAC is responding. Perhaps it's stuck wide open and that's causing the problem...